For a second now, imagine you could let go of everything that’s ever troubled you in the past and that the only attitude towards what has been and which now serves you is gratitude. Then imagine that there is absolutely nothing you need to worry about for the future and that the only thing your future depends upon is you being present here and now. Now notice the heavy giant load of things that just disappeared from your mind and understand how all that was making you blind to what you now perceive as you are being fully present in this specific moment. Notice how you are still alive and functioning though you are not chewing on the past as if it were non-disposable gum nor planning for the future as if your life depended on it. Notice that you’re still breathing, that your mind is clearing up and that your every little actions are becoming conscious and thus much more effective. Now see if you can discern the story that has conditioned you to escape this precious moment by trying to find false refuge in memories and expectations. Are you not very alive at the moment? What has led you to avoid this so much? And can you feel that whatever it is, it does not resonate with truth as you sit consciously in this now? Can you see that this moment is the source of all life and that this is where we need to be in order to survive harmoniously on this earth? Can you see?
If you are looking for the easy way out, searching for a quick fix, I’ll tell you- you have come to the wrong place.
This door might be wide open, but it leads you down the rabbit whole.
To me it’s all the same though, I’ve been there many times.
But I warn you if you choose to enter, be prepared and let it all just go.
Let the brick walls of your mind collapse and your soul spiral away.
Be as open as the door that let you in.
Because if you are not, and you choose to see only what your mind was set to see, you will be fiercly blinded.
And more than that, the hole in which you fall will as bottomless as you expect.
And so your fears will keep extending, into that infinite black hole.
But if you come here looking for truth, prepared with all your courage, faith and love, then please my love- do enter.
And you shall see that as you fall you rise up high, and the pit you feared to enter is one with great reward.
And so long you keep your eyes wide open, no beauty shall be lost.
For if you trust and know your heart, you’ll know to love confusion as a deeply crucial part.
I got sick, terribly sick. Sick of hiding and holding myself back. Yes, truly, it made me ill in every sense. And then when I stood back up to heal, they turned their eyes to me and saw. And what they saw it scared them. So much so they tried to beat me black and blue. Though my colors never changed, I do see I was born to break. Break the shell of fear, that we impose upon ourselves. I am not the sickness, though it held me tight for long. No, me I am the remedy. The cure from all their lies. I think the word is truth. But I’m sure it won’t suffice, to show what grows inside it. To reveal all that it is. But my life is the tool, to awaken just all that. Whatever it might be. And put to sleep what it is not. For all that I now forgive, and allow to slip away. So yes, that is why I won’t be hid again. For here I stand in light of love and truth. Stripping off the sickness, healing in the nude.
It’s easy to judge honesty. Of course it is. Because honesty, uncensored and raw, brings out fear in us. It awakens the secrets we have buried deep down. It makes the corpses of our lies twist and turn in their well dug graves. It stirs confusion within our organized illusions. It reminds us of our nakedness and vulnerability. It reminds us of the masques we forgot we even wore. It makes us ask questions we forgot we even had the answers to…
and so I ask in the name of truth, and appeal upon the judge inside of me and you:
You call me crazy, but would you have the courage to live as freely as I do?
You call me lazy, but would you have the patience to let the mysteries unfold all the way?
You call me naive, but would you have the faith to believe the truth once it’s there, right in front of you?
You call me morbid, but would you have the strength to face the fears and feel the feelings that lirk inside the darkest of caves?
You call me spoilt, but would you really have the gratitude to accept such abundance?
You call me foolish, but would you have the love to give so thoughtlessly?
You call me a reckless, but would you have the passion to burn so bright?
You can call me anything you wish, but would you be able to be me? Would you have the guts and the heart to live my life as fully as I? To be present, bare footed on the earth I walk upon, every moment of every day, to watch the birds fly and hear them sing, to sit and breathe with the whispers of the wind, to have your thoughts and feelings dance with the noise of roaring boats in the distance, walk with the beams of the sun upon your scarred face? Could you do that and know that all is as it should be, that this is life, perfectly imperfect, nothing more nothing less? Could you write these sentences and smile as heartfelt as I?
Could you be you, as honestly as I am me?
If so, I salute you. For I know the strenght, the courage, the love, the patience, the passion, the gratitude and the faith it takes to be me and live in this everlasting moment of change. So if you do too, I salute you.
I felt silly at first, to think that things could have been any different. But did I really think so? Maybe I just didn’t. Maybe I’m neither surprised nor feeling like I knew what it was going to be like. Maybe I’m just not really used to this profound sense of ease. Though there is some frustration hiding somewhere. A sadness maybe…
I feel sadness because I feel how guarded the hearts that I once touched have become. But maybe they were always so guarded and I was just to infatuate to see. I do have a habit of seeing far beyond the masque that they wear. And so sometimes I forget it’s even there. And when I wake up from my loving trance I am stunned to see such unfamiliar faces on the people that I love deeply. I get the feeling that I have been brutally thrown out, cast away like a drunk from a nightclub, and all I wanted to do was just to dance. Only, I am a drunk in love within hearts that aren’t ready. Dancing and dancing.
Maybe it hurts because I was once that stone face with a brick wall around my heart, keeping everyone at a safe distance. I too tried to protect myself in the ways in which I knew how, and locked myself out of my own heart, my own unconditional love and stream of emotions. Pain can do that to people. I know that now.
So when I see their faces, acting like they never rested deep within my soul and drank from my gushing love, I am reminded of my own past pain. Pain from denying all the love that was, only to be able to move forward without showing the world how you’re limping. But I know better now. It is okay to limp. It is even okay to stop and rest for a while, to let the feelings catch up to us. To dive deep into vulnerability. To be honest. And then move on stronger, maybe even without that old limp.
But most of them don’t know this. Most of them don’t even know how to stop hiding, because they’re still hiding from themselves. Today I don’t act deceivingly merely because others do. I stay true to myself, deeply connected to my own love and flowing feelings. I know better than to fear them because they are simply always passing, like a river running through me. I am not scared. I let it flow with ease. I let it go. I am honest, vulnerable and always, always in love. I forgive myself for having once been like them. I forgive them for their brick walls and stone faces. Unaware, protective of hearts that really just long to be ripped open for love to dance freely through them. I accept and love it all. I am grateful.
I reside in my own heart. I am in love, always. Thank you.
The secret to flight is to travel light
To find all, all must first be lost
Such states the law of nothing
One who sees potential in nothingness
Knows the source of everything
Just as in the depths of sound lies silence
All can be done deep down in oblivion
Look to the source and you will see
The invisible eagerly manifesting
When all has yet again vanished
It is all becoming but once more
The exhale makes way for the inhale
Like letting go makes way for the new
An open book is what I am, look and you shall find. I hide nothing and even if it seems so- it is just not yet the time. What you haven’t seen of me is what you haven’t known to look for, but it is all right here, available and real. I am not ashamed, and therefore I don’t lie. But don’t be fooled, I’m not predictable. I face myself with all that I am, holding nothing back as I then turn to face you. Read me, loud and clear. I breathe the breath of love, keeping me sane and honest. I am an open book for anyone to read, wordless chapters, poems, overloaded pages of ramblings, never ending imagery of my heart, soul and mind… it is all right here. If you care to know, I’ll tell you what I feel and what I know, I’ll tell you about my soul. I am as real as I was born to be; my bones are clothed in truth and not in fashionable tapestry. Be not afraid that sometimes I seem to know you better than you know yourself; it is only that I see the entirety in me, beautifully mirrored in your totality. I see my imperfections; I see them perfectly, and I see that I am perfect much thanks to all those flaws. I am an open book, a wildly growing flower that’s not afraid to bloom. Pick me up and read me, be not afraid to have me- for I’ll live a thousand times. Out of love I’ll be reborn, each single time one reads me and smells my scent of truth.
Imagination is the little sister
The one that no one dares truly listen to
When she sings her tales of truth
As her older brother speaks much too loud
Of comforting lies they willingly buy
He too doesn’t know of what he tells them
Imitating the echoes of his parents so numb
Who weren’t always so
But learnt to quickly to succumb
Cultured apes in masses
Amongst whom so few seem to hear the whisper
The little sister’s stories
And her heaps of honest metaphors
She hands them out like candy
But they are chewed and spit like gum
In and out she watches
As they stubbornly proceed
Listening to the disorienting buzz
The one of big old brother
She sees it over and over again
Them shaking their heads at what she has to say
But she persists
As she knows no other way
Keeps on singing until one sings along
Until she is no longer falsely accused of lying
Until they finally learn
Dormant was the angel in me
Now she is raging
No longer sound asleep
But still tied up in chains
Who am I to hold her back?
When it seems she can’t be put down
No amnesia strong enough
To make it disappear
Her wings aching
Longing to be freed
The pain I cause this being
Of light so pure and bright
Kept in the dark
She longs for fresh air
Yet all I can acquire
Is the rotten scent of fear
No I didn’t mean to be so cruel
This was what I learned to do
Keep her down down
Do not awaken her soul
The sleeping beauty inside
Hold back tight
Her crown is way too bright
It will blind you
Corrupt you that’s for sure
But now I know
The lies began so long ago
Perverted was my mind
By the rulers of the frightful
And only now I see
With much more clarity
Just what was really kept from me
A vision of a tortured angel
Locked in their despair
And now my ears are bleeding
For I hear much louder how
The cries they tried to drown
Of a desolate bewildered spirit
Longs for my embrace
In such agony and pain
No I refuse to say
She sings her song in vain
Even if it scares me
I intend to cut the chains
Free at last she will be
You just wait and see.
Little flashes of weakness wash over me as if to remind me to return to the source of my strength. I feel almost overwhelmed, as if all of this is really just too much to handle- but then I remember that it isn’t a fight, and therefore I need not struggle nor give up either. Every day, every moment is a blessing and calls for a ‘thank you’ rather than a ‘hold on’.
All resistance I have harbored within is beginning to surface into the consciousness of my mind and body and I am continuously granted the chance to let go and move forward with further ease, each second more open to the spontaneous flow of life, the endless river of love.
If I have been honest before I now intend to be more than merely honest. I will be open as a book, cramped with the words and actions that most accurately express the magnificence of my inner being, my truth, and my soul. Now more than ever before is the time to not simply believe in the miracles of life but to full on trust and actively enact them.
No barriers remain insurmountable and no hindrances hold the power to entirely throw me off course. An obstacle is purely an opportunity. With the risk of sounding overly optimistic and naïve, I believe rather confidently that a strong shift in our foundation is intelligently setting forth the changes required to spark the evolution of mankind onto the direction of our loving intuition.
Every second holds a portal into infinity and though accessing seems hard at times it is only to prepare our character to eventually fully embody the light that we can finally attain. I believe, feel, know and trust the purpose of all. With love extending in and out of my heart I rest assured that all is well and all is one. In this union we have already overcome. In love we are bound and so we shall eternally be.