Reading the signs

bloganto

These days are powerful indeed. The moon has been conspiring to make things happen for a while now and it’s all making itself felt. Yesterday I proclaimed myself ready, as ready as I’ll ever be. This is indeed a time to trust yourself in the ways you have dreamed to create the reality you perceive. I’ve always been a dreamer, and honestly, whoever says they’re not are just not fully aware of how they too are dreaming up their own world, however mundane it may seem. I saw a ladybug yesterday, and then today I saw a chipmunk. Understanding that the world communicates with itself in mysterious ways I decided to look up the symbolism of these two animals as totems. On this International Women’s day, at exactly 11.11 I read “If you see a ladybug and a chipmunk together,magic is in the air, you can be sure the universe is conspiring on your behalf in serendipitous ways”. And so, I remain a dreamer. I remain in love with myself, in full faith of what I myself as co-creator of my reality have destined for myself. I’ll make my wish explicit. I wish for my voice to be heard, to echo through this world with all the love that it holds. I wish to reveal myself as the soul that I am and share the happiness that I have found to be so persistent throughout all my endeavors and challenges on this mighty planet. I wish to indulge in the pleasures of creativity and inspire the world as it has inspired me. I wish to walk this path with full confident and peace, never doubting the importance and purity of my every move. I wish to sing with full force the songs that resonate in my soul and of those around me, dance freely to the music that is in me with all of those who wish to join, bleed ink into words as if there was no tomorrow for all who wish to read, speak loudly for all who wish to hear the stories that have molded my being, smile and laugh with innocence at everything that comes my way. I wish to shine the light that I am for everyone to see themselves in me, and for me to see myself in all. I wish for balanced companionship, harmony, simplicity and joy, for abundance of love, ascending evolution manifested in all. I wish to be me, beautiful, limitless and entirely free, to vibrate the language of bliss wherever I go, to ripple out all that I am with the pure intent of being touched right back by all that I am. This is my wish. I am grateful. I am love. I am me. I am free. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. -A

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IMAGINE

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For a second now, imagine you could let go of everything that’s ever troubled you in the past and that the only attitude towards what has been and which now serves you is gratitude. Then imagine that there is absolutely nothing you need to worry about for the future and that the only thing your future depends upon is you being present here and now. Now notice the heavy giant load of things that just disappeared from your mind and understand how all that was making you blind to what you now perceive as you are being fully present in this specific moment. Notice how you are still alive and functioning though you are not chewing on the past as if it were non-disposable gum nor planning for the future as if your life depended on it. Notice that you’re still breathing, that your mind is clearing up and that your every little actions are becoming conscious and thus much more effective. Now see if you can discern the story that has conditioned you to escape this precious moment by trying to find false refuge in memories and expectations. Are you not very alive at the moment? What has led you to avoid this so much? And can you feel that whatever it is, it does not resonate with truth as you sit consciously in this now? Can you see that this moment is the source of all life and that this is where we need to be in order to survive harmoniously on this earth? Can you see?

SICK

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I got sick, terribly sick. Sick of hiding and holding myself back. Yes, truly, it made me ill in every sense. And then when I stood back up to heal, they turned their eyes to me and saw. And what they saw it scared them. So much so  they tried to beat me black and blue. Though my colors never changed, I do see I was born to break. Break the shell of fear, that we impose upon ourselves. I am not the sickness, though it held me tight for long. No, me I am the remedy. The cure from all their lies. I think the word is truth. But I’m sure it won’t suffice, to show what grows inside it. To reveal all that it is. But my life is the tool, to awaken just all that. Whatever it might be. And put to sleep what it is not. For all that I now forgive, and allow to slip away. So yes, that is why I won’t be hid again. For here I stand in light of love and truth. Stripping off the sickness, healing in the nude.

I FELL IN LOVE

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I am in love. I fell in love and there is no falling out of it. But I am no damsel in distress. I have fallen head over heals, yes. Truly and deeply but there’s no point in trying to catch me. Don’t you worry. It’s no silly infatuation. I am not blinded, no, I see things very clearly now. I am madly in love. I have fallen and there’s no turning back.

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I am in love with life. I am so in love that these words are failing me. I love intensively. Every little crack and crease. Every little turn. Every little bump. All of it. I am in love with everything I see. Everyone I meet. Everything I touch. Everything that ever was. All that has yet to come. And mostly, I love all that is.

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Every hair on my body. Every scar and every wound to come. I love the way my whole organism works together in a symphony, keeping me in one piece. Allowing me to move as a beautiful irreplaceable entirety. Especially how it allows me to dance. To feel. See. Speak. Taste. Write. All of it.

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I love everything around. Everything far away in the distance and nearby. I am so in love. With every man and woman who has ever spoken a single word to me. Taken the time to get to know me. To be with me in one way or another. Intimately or completely platonic. I am so in love. So, so in love.

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I am in love with the lizards. Insects. With the bees. The flowers. The clouds. The sun. And all there is, ever was and ever will be. All that- I love. I am even in love with the things that I fear. The things I can’t stand. All of it. Of course I am in love with what I love. With all that I like. All that I don’t understand and all that I do.

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Oh how wonderful it is to be in love. To see so clearly. In love with my own beating heart and bewildered spirit. My cultured mind and my unique body. Also, I am in love with you. So if I haven’t already made it clear, now you should know… I love you.

ALCHEMY OF LOVE

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Love what you don’t like

Love what you don’t understand

Love what you can’t see

Love what you see

Love what you hate

Love what makes you sad

Love what makes you wonder

Love what makes you feel

Love what makes you upset

Love what makes you angry

Love what is different

Love what is boring

Love what is joyful

Love what is

Love everything and everything will bring you love

Love with no limits and infinity will be the reward.

AN OPEN BOOK

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An open book is what I am, look and you shall find. I hide nothing and even if it seems so- it is just not yet the time. What you haven’t seen of me is what you haven’t known to look for, but it is all right here, available and real. I am not ashamed, and therefore I don’t lie. But don’t be fooled, I’m not predictable. I face myself with all that I am, holding nothing back as I then turn to face you. Read me, loud and clear. I breathe the breath of love, keeping me sane and honest. I am an open book for anyone to read, wordless chapters, poems, overloaded pages of ramblings, never ending imagery of my heart, soul and mind… it is all right here. If you care to know, I’ll tell you what I feel and what I know, I’ll tell you about my soul. I am as real as I was born to be; my bones are clothed in truth and not in fashionable tapestry. Be not afraid that sometimes I seem to know you better than you know yourself; it is only that I see the entirety in me, beautifully mirrored in your totality. I see my imperfections; I see them perfectly, and I see that I am perfect much thanks to all those flaws. I am an open book, a wildly growing flower that’s not afraid to bloom. Pick me up and read me, be not afraid to have me- for I’ll live a thousand times. Out of love I’ll be reborn, each single time one reads me and smells my scent of truth.

WHAT I OWE

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I owe it to myself

To no longer fear my fears

And so I must forgive

The fears that I have feared

I must forgive my fearing

For that too was my fear

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They had the chance to scare me

And so they did before

But now I see I’m stronger

And they stand little chance

For all I have endured now

Yet still I am so brave

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Forgiveness I must grant

For I didn’t always see so clear

That it was I who brought my fears

Like a heavy luggage on my back

On this voyage through life

It is time I let go and travel light

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I owe it to myself

To see how strong I’ve been

To see that my mistake

Was holding on to fear

And that if only I forgive now

I’ll remember how to fly

For without that heavy load

It is bound to be so easy

Just as I remember it should be

And so I give myself permission

To loosen that tight grip

And letting go of fear

LOVE AT NO COST

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We think that one who loves risks all

We think so because one who loves gains all

And therefore one who loves must also loose all

But we are wildly mistaken

Not because one who loves does not gain all

But rather because one who loves can never stop

So it follows that one who loves can never loose

As once our hearts have been torn open wide

They will always remember

They will never forget the marvels they knew

They will never unlearn how to cast those spells of love

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Our minds on the other hand tell a different story

They say we must curl up and die a slow death

For they think that love is a thing that can be lost

But love cannot be lost

Love can only grow, it knows no other way

And when our eyes don’t see its branches blooming

Its roots are simply extending into the abyss

Stretching down to the depths of our being

Even as it seems winter ends a short-lived summer blossom

Love makes us steady and strong

Preparing for another season

One even merrier to come

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Love is a tenacious being

With no dawn in time nor space

As it seems to set it also rises

Within it grows no fear

Though our minds have painted it in the colors of our horrors

But when the giant bubble bursts

And we see the sphere we used to dread

Once clothed in all our terrors, now open up its merciful gates

Not at all what it appeared to be

Merely a mind made mirage of what love ought to be

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Love is really all around

Impossible to loose or even not to find

Just dare to go beyond the hurdle

And see that love is always present

But if we think we have to love at all cost

Such will be our findings

Until we learn it has no price

Love will look to be a terrible sacrifice

But since love is all, it can hardly be lost

Therefore it is simply so

That one who loves is one with all.

CEASE FIRE, RETREAT

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I see now

What you ask is out-of-date

It can’t be done

And that is how you had me working like a dog

Doing what couldn’t be done

But now when you keep asking I must tell you

That what you ask has already been done

And therefore you must retire

You had me under close watch

With my best interest in mind

Because true it is that I needed you then

And you pushed me well and far

But today I have been pushed as far as can be done

So from here on out I am bound to make it

Which is why I do not need you any longer

We both do deserve a good rest

You did your job with splendor

And I too always did my best

So let us shake hands in peace today

For what we were striving for has now been achieved

The time has come to realize

The finish line is crossed

Your schooling days are over

Even way past due

Pushing further would only be upsetting

It would lead me back astray

All this hard work

So that now you can sit back

See me take it in

For what remains is but acceptance

Of a job finally accomplished

So let us not resist this ending cycle

But be grateful for its success

No need for more regrets or worries

Just a cause for celebration

For here begins the new.