IMAGINE

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For a second now, imagine you could let go of everything that’s ever troubled you in the past and that the only attitude towards what has been and which now serves you is gratitude. Then imagine that there is absolutely nothing you need to worry about for the future and that the only thing your future depends upon is you being present here and now. Now notice the heavy giant load of things that just disappeared from your mind and understand how all that was making you blind to what you now perceive as you are being fully present in this specific moment. Notice how you are still alive and functioning though you are not chewing on the past as if it were non-disposable gum nor planning for the future as if your life depended on it. Notice that you’re still breathing, that your mind is clearing up and that your every little actions are becoming conscious and thus much more effective. Now see if you can discern the story that has conditioned you to escape this precious moment by trying to find false refuge in memories and expectations. Are you not very alive at the moment? What has led you to avoid this so much? And can you feel that whatever it is, it does not resonate with truth as you sit consciously in this now? Can you see that this moment is the source of all life and that this is where we need to be in order to survive harmoniously on this earth? Can you see?

THE RABBIT HOLE

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If you are looking for the easy way out, searching for a quick fix, I’ll tell you- you have come to the wrong place.

This door might be wide open, but it leads you down the rabbit whole.

To me it’s all the same though, I’ve been there many times.

But I warn you if you choose to enter, be prepared and let it all just go.

Let the brick walls of your mind collapse and your soul spiral away.

Be as open as the door that let you in.

Because if you are not, and you choose to see only what your mind was set to see, you will be fiercly blinded.

And more than that, the hole in which you fall will as bottomless as you expect.

And so your fears will keep extending, into that infinite black hole.

But if you come here looking for truth, prepared with all your courage, faith and love, then please my love- do enter.

And you shall see that as you fall you rise up high, and the pit you feared to enter is one with great reward.

And so long you keep your eyes wide open, no beauty shall be lost.

For if you trust and know your heart, you’ll know to love confusion as a deeply crucial part. 

SICK

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I got sick, terribly sick. Sick of hiding and holding myself back. Yes, truly, it made me ill in every sense. And then when I stood back up to heal, they turned their eyes to me and saw. And what they saw it scared them. So much so  they tried to beat me black and blue. Though my colors never changed, I do see I was born to break. Break the shell of fear, that we impose upon ourselves. I am not the sickness, though it held me tight for long. No, me I am the remedy. The cure from all their lies. I think the word is truth. But I’m sure it won’t suffice, to show what grows inside it. To reveal all that it is. But my life is the tool, to awaken just all that. Whatever it might be. And put to sleep what it is not. For all that I now forgive, and allow to slip away. So yes, that is why I won’t be hid again. For here I stand in light of love and truth. Stripping off the sickness, healing in the nude.

I FELL IN LOVE

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I am in love. I fell in love and there is no falling out of it. But I am no damsel in distress. I have fallen head over heals, yes. Truly and deeply but there’s no point in trying to catch me. Don’t you worry. It’s no silly infatuation. I am not blinded, no, I see things very clearly now. I am madly in love. I have fallen and there’s no turning back.

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I am in love with life. I am so in love that these words are failing me. I love intensively. Every little crack and crease. Every little turn. Every little bump. All of it. I am in love with everything I see. Everyone I meet. Everything I touch. Everything that ever was. All that has yet to come. And mostly, I love all that is.

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Every hair on my body. Every scar and every wound to come. I love the way my whole organism works together in a symphony, keeping me in one piece. Allowing me to move as a beautiful irreplaceable entirety. Especially how it allows me to dance. To feel. See. Speak. Taste. Write. All of it.

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I love everything around. Everything far away in the distance and nearby. I am so in love. With every man and woman who has ever spoken a single word to me. Taken the time to get to know me. To be with me in one way or another. Intimately or completely platonic. I am so in love. So, so in love.

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I am in love with the lizards. Insects. With the bees. The flowers. The clouds. The sun. And all there is, ever was and ever will be. All that- I love. I am even in love with the things that I fear. The things I can’t stand. All of it. Of course I am in love with what I love. With all that I like. All that I don’t understand and all that I do.

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Oh how wonderful it is to be in love. To see so clearly. In love with my own beating heart and bewildered spirit. My cultured mind and my unique body. Also, I am in love with you. So if I haven’t already made it clear, now you should know… I love you.

ALCHEMY OF LOVE

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Love what you don’t like

Love what you don’t understand

Love what you can’t see

Love what you see

Love what you hate

Love what makes you sad

Love what makes you wonder

Love what makes you feel

Love what makes you upset

Love what makes you angry

Love what is different

Love what is boring

Love what is joyful

Love what is

Love everything and everything will bring you love

Love with no limits and infinity will be the reward.

WHAT I OWE

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I owe it to myself

To no longer fear my fears

And so I must forgive

The fears that I have feared

I must forgive my fearing

For that too was my fear

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They had the chance to scare me

And so they did before

But now I see I’m stronger

And they stand little chance

For all I have endured now

Yet still I am so brave

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Forgiveness I must grant

For I didn’t always see so clear

That it was I who brought my fears

Like a heavy luggage on my back

On this voyage through life

It is time I let go and travel light

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I owe it to myself

To see how strong I’ve been

To see that my mistake

Was holding on to fear

And that if only I forgive now

I’ll remember how to fly

For without that heavy load

It is bound to be so easy

Just as I remember it should be

And so I give myself permission

To loosen that tight grip

And letting go of fear

CEASE FIRE, RETREAT

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I see now

What you ask is out-of-date

It can’t be done

And that is how you had me working like a dog

Doing what couldn’t be done

But now when you keep asking I must tell you

That what you ask has already been done

And therefore you must retire

You had me under close watch

With my best interest in mind

Because true it is that I needed you then

And you pushed me well and far

But today I have been pushed as far as can be done

So from here on out I am bound to make it

Which is why I do not need you any longer

We both do deserve a good rest

You did your job with splendor

And I too always did my best

So let us shake hands in peace today

For what we were striving for has now been achieved

The time has come to realize

The finish line is crossed

Your schooling days are over

Even way past due

Pushing further would only be upsetting

It would lead me back astray

All this hard work

So that now you can sit back

See me take it in

For what remains is but acceptance

Of a job finally accomplished

So let us not resist this ending cycle

But be grateful for its success

No need for more regrets or worries

Just a cause for celebration

For here begins the new.

SONG OF TRUTH

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Imagination is the little sister

The one that no one dares truly listen to

When she sings her tales of truth

As her older brother speaks much too loud

Of comforting lies they willingly buy

He too doesn’t know of what he tells them

Imitating the echoes of his parents so numb

Who weren’t always so

But learnt to quickly to succumb

Cultured apes in masses

Amongst whom so few seem to hear the whisper

The little sister’s stories

And her heaps of honest metaphors

She hands them out like candy

But they are chewed and spit like gum

In and out she watches

As they stubbornly proceed

Listening to the disorienting buzz

The one of big old brother

She sees it over and over again

Them shaking their heads at what she has to say

But she persists

As she knows no other way

Keeps on singing until one sings along

Until she is no longer falsely accused of lying

Until they finally learn

To believe.

BURIED ALIVE

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Dormant was the angel in me

Now she is raging

No longer sound asleep

But still tied up in chains

Who am I to hold her back?

When it seems she can’t be put down

No amnesia strong enough

To make it disappear

Her wings aching

Longing to be freed

The pain I cause this being

Of light so pure and bright

Kept in the dark

She longs for fresh air

Yet all I can acquire

Is the rotten scent of fear

No I didn’t mean to be so cruel

This was what I learned to do

Keep her down down

Do not awaken her soul

The sleeping beauty inside

Hold back

Hold back tight

Her crown is way too bright

It will blind you

Corrupt you that’s for sure

But now I know

The lies began so long ago

Perverted was my mind

By the rulers of the frightful

And only now I see

With much more clarity

Just what was really kept from me

A vision of a tortured angel

Locked in their despair

And now my ears are bleeding

For I hear much louder how

The cries they tried to drown

Of a desolate bewildered spirit

Longs for my embrace

In such agony and pain

No I refuse to say

She sings her song in vain

Even if it scares me

I intend to cut the chains

Free at last she will be

You just wait and see.