For a second now, imagine you could let go of everything that’s ever troubled you in the past and that the only attitude towards what has been and which now serves you is gratitude. Then imagine that there is absolutely nothing you need to worry about for the future and that the only thing your future depends upon is you being present here and now. Now notice the heavy giant load of things that just disappeared from your mind and understand how all that was making you blind to what you now perceive as you are being fully present in this specific moment. Notice how you are still alive and functioning though you are not chewing on the past as if it were non-disposable gum nor planning for the future as if your life depended on it. Notice that you’re still breathing, that your mind is clearing up and that your every little actions are becoming conscious and thus much more effective. Now see if you can discern the story that has conditioned you to escape this precious moment by trying to find false refuge in memories and expectations. Are you not very alive at the moment? What has led you to avoid this so much? And can you feel that whatever it is, it does not resonate with truth as you sit consciously in this now? Can you see that this moment is the source of all life and that this is where we need to be in order to survive harmoniously on this earth? Can you see?
If you are looking for the easy way out, searching for a quick fix, I’ll tell you- you have come to the wrong place.
This door might be wide open, but it leads you down the rabbit whole.
To me it’s all the same though, I’ve been there many times.
But I warn you if you choose to enter, be prepared and let it all just go.
Let the brick walls of your mind collapse and your soul spiral away.
Be as open as the door that let you in.
Because if you are not, and you choose to see only what your mind was set to see, you will be fiercly blinded.
And more than that, the hole in which you fall will as bottomless as you expect.
And so your fears will keep extending, into that infinite black hole.
But if you come here looking for truth, prepared with all your courage, faith and love, then please my love- do enter.
And you shall see that as you fall you rise up high, and the pit you feared to enter is one with great reward.
And so long you keep your eyes wide open, no beauty shall be lost.
For if you trust and know your heart, you’ll know to love confusion as a deeply crucial part.
I got sick, terribly sick. Sick of hiding and holding myself back. Yes, truly, it made me ill in every sense. And then when I stood back up to heal, they turned their eyes to me and saw. And what they saw it scared them. So much so they tried to beat me black and blue. Though my colors never changed, I do see I was born to break. Break the shell of fear, that we impose upon ourselves. I am not the sickness, though it held me tight for long. No, me I am the remedy. The cure from all their lies. I think the word is truth. But I’m sure it won’t suffice, to show what grows inside it. To reveal all that it is. But my life is the tool, to awaken just all that. Whatever it might be. And put to sleep what it is not. For all that I now forgive, and allow to slip away. So yes, that is why I won’t be hid again. For here I stand in light of love and truth. Stripping off the sickness, healing in the nude.
I am in love. I fell in love and there is no falling out of it. But I am no damsel in distress. I have fallen head over heals, yes. Truly and deeply but there’s no point in trying to catch me. Don’t you worry. It’s no silly infatuation. I am not blinded, no, I see things very clearly now. I am madly in love. I have fallen and there’s no turning back.
I am in love with life. I am so in love that these words are failing me. I love intensively. Every little crack and crease. Every little turn. Every little bump. All of it. I am in love with everything I see. Everyone I meet. Everything I touch. Everything that ever was. All that has yet to come. And mostly, I love all that is.
Every hair on my body. Every scar and every wound to come. I love the way my whole organism works together in a symphony, keeping me in one piece. Allowing me to move as a beautiful irreplaceable entirety. Especially how it allows me to dance. To feel. See. Speak. Taste. Write. All of it.
I love everything around. Everything far away in the distance and nearby. I am so in love. With every man and woman who has ever spoken a single word to me. Taken the time to get to know me. To be with me in one way or another. Intimately or completely platonic. I am so in love. So, so in love.
I am in love with the lizards. Insects. With the bees. The flowers. The clouds. The sun. And all there is, ever was and ever will be. All that- I love. I am even in love with the things that I fear. The things I can’t stand. All of it. Of course I am in love with what I love. With all that I like. All that I don’t understand and all that I do.
Oh how wonderful it is to be in love. To see so clearly. In love with my own beating heart and bewildered spirit. My cultured mind and my unique body. Also, I am in love with you. So if I haven’t already made it clear, now you should know… I love you.
Love what you don’t like
Love what you don’t understand
Love what you can’t see
Love what you see
Love what you hate
Love what makes you sad
Love what makes you wonder
Love what makes you feel
Love what makes you upset
Love what makes you angry
Love what is different
Love what is boring
Love what is joyful
Love what is
Love everything and everything will bring you love
Love with no limits and infinity will be the reward.
I owe it to myself
To no longer fear my fears
And so I must forgive
The fears that I have feared
I must forgive my fearing
For that too was my fear
They had the chance to scare me
And so they did before
But now I see I’m stronger
And they stand little chance
For all I have endured now
Yet still I am so brave
Forgiveness I must grant
For I didn’t always see so clear
That it was I who brought my fears
Like a heavy luggage on my back
On this voyage through life
It is time I let go and travel light
I owe it to myself
To see how strong I’ve been
To see that my mistake
Was holding on to fear
And that if only I forgive now
I’ll remember how to fly
For without that heavy load
It is bound to be so easy
Just as I remember it should be
And so I give myself permission
To loosen that tight grip
And letting go of fear
I see now
What you ask is out-of-date
It can’t be done
And that is how you had me working like a dog
Doing what couldn’t be done
But now when you keep asking I must tell you
That what you ask has already been done
And therefore you must retire
You had me under close watch
With my best interest in mind
Because true it is that I needed you then
And you pushed me well and far
But today I have been pushed as far as can be done
So from here on out I am bound to make it
Which is why I do not need you any longer
We both do deserve a good rest
You did your job with splendor
And I too always did my best
So let us shake hands in peace today
For what we were striving for has now been achieved
The time has come to realize
The finish line is crossed
Your schooling days are over
Even way past due
Pushing further would only be upsetting
It would lead me back astray
All this hard work
So that now you can sit back
See me take it in
For what remains is but acceptance
Of a job finally accomplished
So let us not resist this ending cycle
But be grateful for its success
No need for more regrets or worries
Just a cause for celebration
For here begins the new.
Imagination is the little sister
The one that no one dares truly listen to
When she sings her tales of truth
As her older brother speaks much too loud
Of comforting lies they willingly buy
He too doesn’t know of what he tells them
Imitating the echoes of his parents so numb
Who weren’t always so
But learnt to quickly to succumb
Cultured apes in masses
Amongst whom so few seem to hear the whisper
The little sister’s stories
And her heaps of honest metaphors
She hands them out like candy
But they are chewed and spit like gum
In and out she watches
As they stubbornly proceed
Listening to the disorienting buzz
The one of big old brother
She sees it over and over again
Them shaking their heads at what she has to say
But she persists
As she knows no other way
Keeps on singing until one sings along
Until she is no longer falsely accused of lying
Until they finally learn
Dormant was the angel in me
Now she is raging
No longer sound asleep
But still tied up in chains
Who am I to hold her back?
When it seems she can’t be put down
No amnesia strong enough
To make it disappear
Her wings aching
Longing to be freed
The pain I cause this being
Of light so pure and bright
Kept in the dark
She longs for fresh air
Yet all I can acquire
Is the rotten scent of fear
No I didn’t mean to be so cruel
This was what I learned to do
Keep her down down
Do not awaken her soul
The sleeping beauty inside
Hold back tight
Her crown is way too bright
It will blind you
Corrupt you that’s for sure
But now I know
The lies began so long ago
Perverted was my mind
By the rulers of the frightful
And only now I see
With much more clarity
Just what was really kept from me
A vision of a tortured angel
Locked in their despair
And now my ears are bleeding
For I hear much louder how
The cries they tried to drown
Of a desolate bewildered spirit
Longs for my embrace
In such agony and pain
No I refuse to say
She sings her song in vain
Even if it scares me
I intend to cut the chains
Free at last she will be
You just wait and see.