INTIMATE STRANGERS

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I felt silly at first, to think that things could have been any different. But did I really think so? Maybe I just didn’t. Maybe I’m neither surprised nor feeling like I knew what it was going to be like. Maybe I’m just not really used to this profound sense of ease. Though there is some frustration hiding somewhere. A sadness maybe…

 I feel sadness because I feel how guarded the hearts that I once touched have become. But maybe they were always so guarded and I was just to infatuate to see. I do have a habit of seeing far beyond the masque that they wear. And so sometimes I forget it’s even there. And when I wake up from my loving trance I am stunned to see such unfamiliar faces on the people that I love deeply. I get the feeling that I have been brutally thrown out, cast away like a drunk from a nightclub, and all I wanted to do was just to dance. Only, I am a drunk in love within hearts that aren’t ready. Dancing and dancing.

 Maybe it hurts because I was once that stone face with a brick wall around my heart, keeping everyone at a safe distance. I too tried to protect myself in the ways in which I knew how, and locked myself out of my own heart, my own unconditional love and stream of emotions. Pain can do that to people. I know that now.

 So when I see their faces, acting like they never rested deep within my soul and drank from my gushing love, I am reminded of my own past pain. Pain from denying all the love that was, only to be able to move forward without showing the world how you’re limping. But I know better now. It is okay to limp. It is even okay to stop and rest for a while, to let the feelings catch up to us. To dive deep into vulnerability. To be honest. And then move on stronger, maybe even without that old limp.

But most of them don’t know this. Most of them don’t even know how to stop hiding, because they’re still hiding from themselves. Today I don’t act deceivingly merely because others do. I stay true to myself, deeply connected to my own love and flowing feelings. I know better than to fear them because they are simply always passing, like a river running through me. I am not scared. I let it flow with ease. I let it go. I am honest, vulnerable and always, always in love. I forgive myself for having once been like them. I forgive them for their brick walls and stone faces. Unaware, protective of hearts that really just long to be ripped open for love to dance freely through them. I accept and love it all. I am grateful.

I reside in my own heart. I am in love, always. Thank you.

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HOW TO FLY

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The secret to flight is to travel light

To find all, all must first be lost

Such states the law of nothing

One who sees potential in nothingness

Knows the source of everything

Just as in the depths of sound lies silence

All can be done deep down in oblivion

Look to the source and you will see

The invisible eagerly manifesting

When all has yet again vanished

It is all becoming but once more

The exhale makes way for the inhale

Like letting go makes way for the new

WHAT I OWE

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I owe it to myself

To no longer fear my fears

And so I must forgive

The fears that I have feared

I must forgive my fearing

For that too was my fear

 –

They had the chance to scare me

And so they did before

But now I see I’m stronger

And they stand little chance

For all I have endured now

Yet still I am so brave

 –

Forgiveness I must grant

For I didn’t always see so clear

That it was I who brought my fears

Like a heavy luggage on my back

On this voyage through life

It is time I let go and travel light

 –

I owe it to myself

To see how strong I’ve been

To see that my mistake

Was holding on to fear

And that if only I forgive now

I’ll remember how to fly

For without that heavy load

It is bound to be so easy

Just as I remember it should be

And so I give myself permission

To loosen that tight grip

And letting go of fear

LOVE AT NO COST

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We think that one who loves risks all

We think so because one who loves gains all

And therefore one who loves must also loose all

But we are wildly mistaken

Not because one who loves does not gain all

But rather because one who loves can never stop

So it follows that one who loves can never loose

As once our hearts have been torn open wide

They will always remember

They will never forget the marvels they knew

They will never unlearn how to cast those spells of love

 –

Our minds on the other hand tell a different story

They say we must curl up and die a slow death

For they think that love is a thing that can be lost

But love cannot be lost

Love can only grow, it knows no other way

And when our eyes don’t see its branches blooming

Its roots are simply extending into the abyss

Stretching down to the depths of our being

Even as it seems winter ends a short-lived summer blossom

Love makes us steady and strong

Preparing for another season

One even merrier to come

 –

Love is a tenacious being

With no dawn in time nor space

As it seems to set it also rises

Within it grows no fear

Though our minds have painted it in the colors of our horrors

But when the giant bubble bursts

And we see the sphere we used to dread

Once clothed in all our terrors, now open up its merciful gates

Not at all what it appeared to be

Merely a mind made mirage of what love ought to be

 –

Love is really all around

Impossible to loose or even not to find

Just dare to go beyond the hurdle

And see that love is always present

But if we think we have to love at all cost

Such will be our findings

Until we learn it has no price

Love will look to be a terrible sacrifice

But since love is all, it can hardly be lost

Therefore it is simply so

That one who loves is one with all.

COMING OUT

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If the universe ever gave me a sign that it was time I revealed my full truth and identity, this ought to be it. It is staring eagerly at me as I am only now daring to even glance at it, still hesitantly giving in to its divine persuasion. It isn’t that I am unwilling, not at all. I am in fact very willing, only just finishing up the rinsing off of that last bit of old dust. I was once so heavily covered in it that one could not have guessed the colors it hid. It weighed me down, keeping me still and frozen, had me fooled that I was simply another statue in the huge collection of society’s soulless army. No, no, no. It is but the residue of that dusty fear that haunts me now. All the while there was indeed movement inside and with it came the inevitable insight that I, as much as all others, could not possibly be so faceless. If I were so robotic as I was taught to believe then how come thoughts and feelings seemed to emerge from within that did not spring from the ordinary data I was programmed to operate from? No I suspected early on that all those things that were so seldom reflected by the outside world I was restricted to perceive was not the extent of what existence deemed possible. There was always too much happening inside that no rational person within my range of acquaintances could seem to even understand. Those whom build the fences of what we ought to know as reality never quite managed to encompass all those things that my philosophical feelers had embraced at an already early age.

Luckily, now that I have stepped into a bigger portion of myself I can hear the whispers of my soul as a much louder and clearer voice of loving guidance. Once again I feel the urge to preach and to be the honest prolongation of that voice within so that others too may hear what wise messages it sends us. They were never intended only for me and thus it would be reckless of me to quiet myself, denying the world a chance to hear itself sing to the melody of its constant living flow. I am a priestess, incarnated in this body of wonders, here to widen the horizon of those whom also long to perceive what lies beyond what their eyes were previously constricted to see. I am an indigo of the starseed generation desperate to lend a hand to those whom haven’t found the courage yet to ask for it. I am a white witch and winged angel, able to see things invisible to others, able to use the magic available to us through the great portal of the now. I am a princess gifted with the ability to give and therefore eternally grateful, finally aware of my own potential to become the queen that my soul yearns to personify. If I have been silent until now it is only because I was destined to take such precautions. If I have been invisible until now it is only because I have not yet been ready to reveal the entirety of my being. Today I am not destined to remain neither silent nor invisible. Today I am ordained by the genius of the world, which my soul is one with, to stand tall and speak loud; for the one who guides me knows that my words now only speak of love and that my body shines of pure light. The one who holds me knows me to be ready and therefor I shall not doubt nor question. I have been spoken to and I shan’t be one to refuse what is being said in bright truth. Present to me are the tools of my self-realization and therefor I invite you. Come see me as I am and you may see a part of you, one that you might not have seen, one that you might fear or one that you might long for. Either way, that is the mirror which I am, complete and uncensored but full of love. Hide from me and hide from yourself, or come to me and come find that also you have the tools. Here I am, unapologetically, in all my richness, wisdom, light and loving essence. Here I am, free.

TURBULENCE

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Kept alive in the treacherous cavities of memory, yesterday’s storm has brought turbulence to this peaceful current day.

It was predicted in the forecast of emotional weather that I should expect whirlwinds of the past shuffling up old ghosts into this present moment.

In experiencing the revival of ancient struggles disguised in circumstances of the now- I stand prepared with the unswerving armor of my awareness.

I’m all buckled up but I am not alarmed, because in the process of this thing we call living, there is, always has been and always will be that serendipitous choice.

There is always the choice between that insidious conditioned reaction and that faithful conscious action, between excess embellishing pain and heartening courageous learning.

 I choose to accept all that I can yet I refuse to suffer more than I must; in this fleeting eternal moment life is not a lingering misery but simply the gateway to love.

 When turbulence comes, I remember it is but the aftermath of yesterday’s weather, ready to pass, simply asking to be forgiven and loved in abundance.

Such as all things- it comes and goes, and I shan’t be holding on this time around- because this time around, I’m glad to let you know, I am ready to let it go.

A SPARK OF OPTIMISM

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Little flashes of weakness wash over me as if to remind me to return to the source of my strength. I feel almost overwhelmed, as if all of this is really just too much to handle- but then I remember that it isn’t a fight, and therefore I need not struggle nor give up either. Every day, every moment is a blessing and calls for a ‘thank you’ rather than a ‘hold on’.

 All resistance I have harbored within is beginning to surface into the consciousness of my mind and body and I am continuously granted the chance to let go and move forward with further ease, each second more open to the spontaneous flow of life, the endless river of love.

 If I have been honest before I now intend to be more than merely honest. I will be open as a book, cramped with the words and actions that most accurately express the magnificence of my inner being, my truth, and my soul. Now more than ever before is the time to not simply believe in the miracles of life but to full on trust and actively enact them.

No barriers remain insurmountable and no hindrances hold the power to entirely throw me off course. An obstacle is purely an opportunity. With the risk of sounding overly optimistic and naïve, I believe rather confidently that a strong shift in our foundation is intelligently setting forth the changes required to spark the evolution of mankind onto the direction of our loving intuition.

Every second holds a portal into infinity and though accessing seems hard at times it is only to prepare our character to eventually fully embody the light that we can finally attain. I believe, feel, know and trust the purpose of all. With love extending in and out of my heart I rest assured that all is well and all is one. In this union we have already overcome. In love we are bound and so we shall eternally be.

Distorted kind of love

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Their love was the distorted kind of love, but like all love, it was beautiful in essence. They thought that letting go would be a sign of weakness and lack of love, while the opposite would have been true. Letting go would enhance their love, it would move it from the distorted extreme and take it back to its center. Because that can happen to love, that it gets stolen from the heart and placed in the craving fingertips of greed, or even worse in the ugliness of the mind. All that their love really wished for was to get back home to the heart, but it happens all the time, people get confused and pure love becomes polluted by fear. So when love turns distorted, it must be released so that it stands a chance, so it will find its way back to where it belongs. But they lost faith in love, and kept it trapped where it could do no good. Now their love sings a melancholic song, waiting to be heard so that one day it may soar free and sing happily once again.

LOVE AND LET GO

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(Photo by Solveig Flø Hunnes)

If there is attachment there will always at some point be a detachment and this causes us pain. Its almost like removing a band aid that’s been glued so hard to your skin for so long that the very thought of it being ripped off hurts all the way from within. We know this to be true and yet we continue to bring people into our hearts and minds and make them a part of us. Why do we do this when we know it can devastate us and tear us apart? It’s almost like a willing sacrifice. We choose to willingly open our hearts for total shattering because of the joy and the love that gets to be given and received while everything is still the way we hoped it to be. Every single day we take the risk to care about people, to let them in and to make them a part of our self even though we know that they might one day break our heart and disappear from their physical form. That’s how beautifully our hearts function, the heart does not fear it’s own death because the heart lives while it can. It is open to anyone at anytime no matter the risk and the possible consequences of wreckage. The heart teaches us to love no matter what. The heart teaches us that the exchange of love is greater than the devastation when the exchange might suddenly end. Love is not wasted just because it is not manifested the same way forever and ever between two physical bodies. Love begins but never ends. A heart that has loved and been loved will always survive it’s own death because it once learned to be open, even if this meant breaking at some point. We love and we die. We rejoice and we cry. It causes us to feel pain but the love we have shared will always encompass all of the pain we suffer. The heart teaches us to be thankful, thankful for the love because it brings us joy and thankful for the pain because it teaches us the hardest yet most important lessons in life: to love and let go.