INTIMATE STRANGERS

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I felt silly at first, to think that things could have been any different. But did I really think so? Maybe I just didn’t. Maybe I’m neither surprised nor feeling like I knew what it was going to be like. Maybe I’m just not really used to this profound sense of ease. Though there is some frustration hiding somewhere. A sadness maybe…

 I feel sadness because I feel how guarded the hearts that I once touched have become. But maybe they were always so guarded and I was just to infatuate to see. I do have a habit of seeing far beyond the masque that they wear. And so sometimes I forget it’s even there. And when I wake up from my loving trance I am stunned to see such unfamiliar faces on the people that I love deeply. I get the feeling that I have been brutally thrown out, cast away like a drunk from a nightclub, and all I wanted to do was just to dance. Only, I am a drunk in love within hearts that aren’t ready. Dancing and dancing.

 Maybe it hurts because I was once that stone face with a brick wall around my heart, keeping everyone at a safe distance. I too tried to protect myself in the ways in which I knew how, and locked myself out of my own heart, my own unconditional love and stream of emotions. Pain can do that to people. I know that now.

 So when I see their faces, acting like they never rested deep within my soul and drank from my gushing love, I am reminded of my own past pain. Pain from denying all the love that was, only to be able to move forward without showing the world how you’re limping. But I know better now. It is okay to limp. It is even okay to stop and rest for a while, to let the feelings catch up to us. To dive deep into vulnerability. To be honest. And then move on stronger, maybe even without that old limp.

But most of them don’t know this. Most of them don’t even know how to stop hiding, because they’re still hiding from themselves. Today I don’t act deceivingly merely because others do. I stay true to myself, deeply connected to my own love and flowing feelings. I know better than to fear them because they are simply always passing, like a river running through me. I am not scared. I let it flow with ease. I let it go. I am honest, vulnerable and always, always in love. I forgive myself for having once been like them. I forgive them for their brick walls and stone faces. Unaware, protective of hearts that really just long to be ripped open for love to dance freely through them. I accept and love it all. I am grateful.

I reside in my own heart. I am in love, always. Thank you.

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SERVANTS OF THE MOON

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I bleed with the full moon

As it eclipses I fall into its shadow

But in the vivid dark I see

The fallen sisters of times past

My faithful standing allies

And those yet to grieve

The river of blood that we spill

Today the moon is full

And it speaks of more than sorrow

It speaks of laughter shared

Of sisterhood braced

It tells the tale of waters dance

And preaches of flowing life

Dictating the tides of our bodies

One we grandly walk upon

Others we sensitively walk within

It sings to the rhythm of our beating chests

And I hear the gentle tapping

Of bare feet to the ground

We sway with the currents

Surrendering to our master in the sky

It tells me to bleed

And so I honor its vile wish

Yet weeping no more

For the lineage of the drained

Understanding finally why

Such was our heredity and destiny

To continuously live and die

Rinsing the present of the old

Such is the providence of our sisterhood

Powerful keepers of balance

Humble dancers of destroyers

And tender queens of rebirth

Loyal decedents of the divine

We were never fallen

Merely dancing to the everlasting flow

In and out like breaths of air

Kindred delicate warriors of this earth

Holding life within our wombs

Bleeding with the full moon

A SPARK OF OPTIMISM

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Little flashes of weakness wash over me as if to remind me to return to the source of my strength. I feel almost overwhelmed, as if all of this is really just too much to handle- but then I remember that it isn’t a fight, and therefore I need not struggle nor give up either. Every day, every moment is a blessing and calls for a ‘thank you’ rather than a ‘hold on’.

 All resistance I have harbored within is beginning to surface into the consciousness of my mind and body and I am continuously granted the chance to let go and move forward with further ease, each second more open to the spontaneous flow of life, the endless river of love.

 If I have been honest before I now intend to be more than merely honest. I will be open as a book, cramped with the words and actions that most accurately express the magnificence of my inner being, my truth, and my soul. Now more than ever before is the time to not simply believe in the miracles of life but to full on trust and actively enact them.

No barriers remain insurmountable and no hindrances hold the power to entirely throw me off course. An obstacle is purely an opportunity. With the risk of sounding overly optimistic and naïve, I believe rather confidently that a strong shift in our foundation is intelligently setting forth the changes required to spark the evolution of mankind onto the direction of our loving intuition.

Every second holds a portal into infinity and though accessing seems hard at times it is only to prepare our character to eventually fully embody the light that we can finally attain. I believe, feel, know and trust the purpose of all. With love extending in and out of my heart I rest assured that all is well and all is one. In this union we have already overcome. In love we are bound and so we shall eternally be.

Accept this love

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Take the love I give you, I ask nothing in return

Let it heal your wounds and make you remember

Embrace this lifetime and come back to life

Awake from your slumber and look into my eyes

Yes, you always knew but I shall keep repeating

I will keep on singing until you sing along

Please do not worry for there’s nothing to fear

The damage that was done can be undone

Just take the love I give, and keep in your heart.

HARBORING A HEART

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Like a queen who bears her crown I bear my heart. I have been granted this heart and it will be my lifelong duty to serve it. It rests heavy in my chest for me to shelter but never to trap. I am not its cage but rather its dutiful servant and safe harbor. I am its peaceful warrior on a mission to fulfill its quiet wish.

If it wasn’t for my heart I would not live nor could the heart live without me. We are bound to each other for as long as we are bound to this life. As companions on this earth we will dance, and as it leads I will follow. Like a compass in my hand it gives me direction where to go. And if it ever were to break it will be because I lost it, I let it down or gave it away. My heart will and shall always belong to me, because it is through me that it is capable of love.

a matter of the heart

 

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Yes my heart is fragile but it can outlive its own collapse. How? I don’t quite know. Perhaps I was never supposed to know either. But I rest assured that in all its delicacy it is also immensely strong. It is brave enough to fight the battles that can´t all be won and patient enough to hope for better days. My heart is not to blame in this for it is I who strap it down and hold it back whenever it fiercely takes a leap of faith into uncertainty. It is I who fear it might break for it is I who is reluctant to pick up its shatters and mend it back together after having it being crushed over and over. Silly me who thinks all of that is really up to me. How could I question the authority of a beating heart? I am its pupil and it is my teacher. It´s a matter of the heart, naturally! Dear heart of mine, please proceed to lead the way and I shall follow.

LOVE AND LET GO

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(Photo by Solveig Flø Hunnes)

If there is attachment there will always at some point be a detachment and this causes us pain. Its almost like removing a band aid that’s been glued so hard to your skin for so long that the very thought of it being ripped off hurts all the way from within. We know this to be true and yet we continue to bring people into our hearts and minds and make them a part of us. Why do we do this when we know it can devastate us and tear us apart? It’s almost like a willing sacrifice. We choose to willingly open our hearts for total shattering because of the joy and the love that gets to be given and received while everything is still the way we hoped it to be. Every single day we take the risk to care about people, to let them in and to make them a part of our self even though we know that they might one day break our heart and disappear from their physical form. That’s how beautifully our hearts function, the heart does not fear it’s own death because the heart lives while it can. It is open to anyone at anytime no matter the risk and the possible consequences of wreckage. The heart teaches us to love no matter what. The heart teaches us that the exchange of love is greater than the devastation when the exchange might suddenly end. Love is not wasted just because it is not manifested the same way forever and ever between two physical bodies. Love begins but never ends. A heart that has loved and been loved will always survive it’s own death because it once learned to be open, even if this meant breaking at some point. We love and we die. We rejoice and we cry. It causes us to feel pain but the love we have shared will always encompass all of the pain we suffer. The heart teaches us to be thankful, thankful for the love because it brings us joy and thankful for the pain because it teaches us the hardest yet most important lessons in life: to love and let go.