ALCHEMY OF LOVE

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Love what you don’t like

Love what you don’t understand

Love what you can’t see

Love what you see

Love what you hate

Love what makes you sad

Love what makes you wonder

Love what makes you feel

Love what makes you upset

Love what makes you angry

Love what is different

Love what is boring

Love what is joyful

Love what is

Love everything and everything will bring you love

Love with no limits and infinity will be the reward.

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BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

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This time nigh time dreams won’t have me. I was expecting them and perhaps that was my mistake. But something else is keeping me awake and restless. There is a wild being caged inside my chest and as much as I’d like to claim nothing really scares me anymore, the intensity of what seems to be roaring within is greater than I seem able to handle right now. I’m not one to give into fear so easily though. I am the curious typ. A wild woman. Whatever that is. I burn and I ache. But it’s all good. That’s how I shed my skin. That’s how I spread my light. So who’s trying to tame me? Why do I have a string feeling I am being domesticated by myself? In me: a pretty tamer and a beast, all at once and me.

The moon called me out tonight, brought me back out of my sleepless bed. It had so much to say to me and I was afraid to listen. The tamer, that worried little thing, was afraid to listen. The beast on the other hand, gave away a deafening weep. No wonder there was fear. The moon spoke of death and blood. Of birth. Of life untamed. Of the raw. The ugly and it’s dirty beauty. And a part of me has been rejecting it for so long. And still is. Half heartedly though. I’ve been neglecting this fight and it was about time it was brought to surface.

 They say the old ways don’t work on this new rising earth, but what does that really mean? I know what it means but I would like to know how it applies to me. To this. But then again no. That’s what I fear. The tamers voice inside of me is still pleading. “Please let me be! Let me just go on unnoticed as I always have.” I am confused. Who am I to sympathise with here? Such a petty thing it would seem. But it doesn’t feel that way at all. Of how it pains me, cuts me deep. I am not afraid of others. I am afraid of myself. Of the beast inside. I hear the judging demon, terrified of the wilderness of my untamed being. “Be cultured! Civilized. Pretty.” It tells me.

But the poor wild beast can’t possibly be all those things. The wild beast is wild. It is not meant to be all those things it is forced to be. How could I ever take sides? How am I to make a decision that seems so devastating to all parts? I know this can’t go on much longer. I must forgive myself for keeping this battle alive thus far already. I keep pushing the limits. How far can I go without having to choose? Can I keep the beast locked up for just a little while longer? No. It doesn’t seem fair. It hurts too much. But the tamer shivers with fear at the very thought of unlocking it’s cage. But I must set it free.

Dear beast, you are not like them. Pretty and domesticated. You are fury and wild. Perfectly ugly and beautiful all at once. Oh what a crazy thing to be doing. To unleash this beast. But perhaps crazier to keep you on a leash. Force of nature. Star of the wild. You too deserve my love. You have kept me sane. Where will you go now that I set you free?

Dear tamer, I hear your questions and your warnings. You predict the worst. You always have. And I understand I really do. But it doesn’t have to be so. There could be relief. The beast is no longer your burden to worry about. You have been conditioned. Terribly so. You heard them say what had to be done to gain their approval. But we no longer seek their approval. You have my love as well. And that’s all you’ll ever need. I assure you. Your work is done and you’ve done it well. I love no matter what. I really do.

Dear beauty and the beast. I love you. Both.

BEAUTIFUL METAPHOR

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I used to wish I were simpler. I used to suffer from the complexity of the inner workings of my mind. I used to be hurt by the inability of others to understand the vast ocean of intricacy within me. No wonder- when I always knew I had stars in my head. It seemed simple at first but in teenage years things were not always bound to be easy when ancient wisdom was fused with hormones and deep feelings of alienation.

 But I see that I was born to simplify complexity, by first of all embracing it. Without the baffling ways of my mind and the highly elevated sensitivity of all my senses I would not be me. Without all of that I would not see so much, I would not understand so much and I would not love so much. The way I am is the gift that allows me to give. I am beautiful in all my complex ways; it’s as simple as that.

Sometimes I get jealous of others, of how their simplicity appeals to people, how their words can be so direct while I fiddle with my metaphors. But I was born a metaphor and such I must embrace myself. I see behind a veil that many don’t even know exists, and so my challenge has been to unveil complexity with ease. And now I am beginning to embrace ease.

My purpose here is to bring forth the secrets of the universe in the ways in which I know how. I am here to un-masque the lies we have been told and to spread the joys of truth that we hold inside of us. I am here to understand the complicated ways in which we function in order to help people unlock from their fixed states of resistance to life and bring them back into simplicity. Others have the gift of simplicity intrinsic in their being, with the purpose of helping by merely being, by shining bright with fewer questions asked.

I used to think it was a curse having to dive so deep into the dark to find the hands that needed to be held and brought back up to light. But now I see how strong it’s made me, how wonderful my gift is to be able to operate in all dimensions of life. Today I have brought myself back to simplicity, after nearly drowning in effort, contemplation and introspection; but I see it was all necessary and I am infinitely grateful for my journey. I am the paradox, simplicity and complexity combined, light and darkness united in love. I am the beautiful metaphor I was born to be; simply me.

INTIMATE STRANGERS

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I felt silly at first, to think that things could have been any different. But did I really think so? Maybe I just didn’t. Maybe I’m neither surprised nor feeling like I knew what it was going to be like. Maybe I’m just not really used to this profound sense of ease. Though there is some frustration hiding somewhere. A sadness maybe…

 I feel sadness because I feel how guarded the hearts that I once touched have become. But maybe they were always so guarded and I was just to infatuate to see. I do have a habit of seeing far beyond the masque that they wear. And so sometimes I forget it’s even there. And when I wake up from my loving trance I am stunned to see such unfamiliar faces on the people that I love deeply. I get the feeling that I have been brutally thrown out, cast away like a drunk from a nightclub, and all I wanted to do was just to dance. Only, I am a drunk in love within hearts that aren’t ready. Dancing and dancing.

 Maybe it hurts because I was once that stone face with a brick wall around my heart, keeping everyone at a safe distance. I too tried to protect myself in the ways in which I knew how, and locked myself out of my own heart, my own unconditional love and stream of emotions. Pain can do that to people. I know that now.

 So when I see their faces, acting like they never rested deep within my soul and drank from my gushing love, I am reminded of my own past pain. Pain from denying all the love that was, only to be able to move forward without showing the world how you’re limping. But I know better now. It is okay to limp. It is even okay to stop and rest for a while, to let the feelings catch up to us. To dive deep into vulnerability. To be honest. And then move on stronger, maybe even without that old limp.

But most of them don’t know this. Most of them don’t even know how to stop hiding, because they’re still hiding from themselves. Today I don’t act deceivingly merely because others do. I stay true to myself, deeply connected to my own love and flowing feelings. I know better than to fear them because they are simply always passing, like a river running through me. I am not scared. I let it flow with ease. I let it go. I am honest, vulnerable and always, always in love. I forgive myself for having once been like them. I forgive them for their brick walls and stone faces. Unaware, protective of hearts that really just long to be ripped open for love to dance freely through them. I accept and love it all. I am grateful.

I reside in my own heart. I am in love, always. Thank you.

GALACTIC FAMILY

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The sun does not compare itself to the moon

Embrace. Embrace, the ever-changing dance

We are planets, centers of gravity’s pull

Each crucial to the synchronicity of the whole

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The moon does not wish it were the earth

Every single one of us, born out of a serendipitous collision

A union of love, for the benefit of all

Part of a micro macro galactic family

Building the entirety by being, by learning

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Venus doesn’t ask to switch places with Mars

Rotating in different directions, different angles in different speed

Here to explore the endless varieties of life’s expression

There is no ideal; uniqueness is the expansion, the bliss

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Jupiter does not try to be more like Pluto

Embrace. Embrace, diversity in time and space

As above so below, as within so without

Emitting light together

A spectacular experiment, motivated by love

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Embrace. Embrace.

JUMP OFF

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How can I share with you my happiness from the sheer being alive? How can I explain to you the pleasure produced from a simple stroke on my skin? How can I catch you in your busy life and get you to see the immense gratification found in just sitting still? How can I begin to convey the beauty that can be discovered in watching anything, literally anything, move in its constant flowing dance? How can I possibly communicate to your busy mind the peacefulness of absolute silence? How can I meet you right here, right now and have us unfold the magnificence of this moment together when your thoughts have wondered off far away in time and space?

From where I stand today I see that madness was something I inherited from our culture. Even though our culture claims normality and points toward me being an odd exception, I feel I have finally grown sane. Out of this chaos that is the way society’s wheel spins, grew in me first weariness then suspicion then curiosity and finally some form of sanity. And so, suddenly I found myself outside of the matrix, seeing things much more objectively rather than the way I was taught to perceive them. And so here I am, watching that wheel spin and spin out of control, with so many of you so desperately caught in it that you might haven’t even noticed the way it continuously whirls you out of your own center.

So I ask myself, what can I do? I cannot grab your hand and pull you out. I cannot force you to look at things my way. I cannot make you enjoy watching another person in the eye as much as or even more than buying fancy new things. I cannot command you to laugh at the challenges you face. Only you can do such things for yourself, if you want to that is. Only you can choose the ways in which you want your path to wind, but as long as you don’t know this wholeheartedly your path will most likely be the one paved out for you by society. And such a path is seldom in full accord with the way your heart wants you to move.

 No, all I can do is stay here and wave from the outside hoping that you’ll notice me, and see that there is in fact a place beyond the platform of time and space that you once were restricted to move within that you may have overlooked. And if you do notice it, all I can do is- with full honesty and confidence, lead by example and express the abundant infinity, which can be found here. And if you do trust me, and most of all trust yourself in what you come to believe, I can only mirror the courage that you too hold to decisively take the leap of faith that is essential to the full uncovering of what has been veiled. And if you do pursue that leap of faith, with arms, mind and heart open, I will be sure to greet you here the same precise way, with arms, mind and heart open.

HOW TO FLY

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The secret to flight is to travel light

To find all, all must first be lost

Such states the law of nothing

One who sees potential in nothingness

Knows the source of everything

Just as in the depths of sound lies silence

All can be done deep down in oblivion

Look to the source and you will see

The invisible eagerly manifesting

When all has yet again vanished

It is all becoming but once more

The exhale makes way for the inhale

Like letting go makes way for the new

AN OPEN BOOK

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An open book is what I am, look and you shall find. I hide nothing and even if it seems so- it is just not yet the time. What you haven’t seen of me is what you haven’t known to look for, but it is all right here, available and real. I am not ashamed, and therefore I don’t lie. But don’t be fooled, I’m not predictable. I face myself with all that I am, holding nothing back as I then turn to face you. Read me, loud and clear. I breathe the breath of love, keeping me sane and honest. I am an open book for anyone to read, wordless chapters, poems, overloaded pages of ramblings, never ending imagery of my heart, soul and mind… it is all right here. If you care to know, I’ll tell you what I feel and what I know, I’ll tell you about my soul. I am as real as I was born to be; my bones are clothed in truth and not in fashionable tapestry. Be not afraid that sometimes I seem to know you better than you know yourself; it is only that I see the entirety in me, beautifully mirrored in your totality. I see my imperfections; I see them perfectly, and I see that I am perfect much thanks to all those flaws. I am an open book, a wildly growing flower that’s not afraid to bloom. Pick me up and read me, be not afraid to have me- for I’ll live a thousand times. Out of love I’ll be reborn, each single time one reads me and smells my scent of truth.

BACK TO MOTHERLAND

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There was a time when I was forced to burn for these words, punished by the fear of the dormant masses, but today I mustn’t hide and I mustn’t be silenced. Today brave hearts are ready to receive and ready to give openly, without shame or judgment. The old picture of me is fading, the one where I stand subdued and held hostage as an alien in an indigenous tribe of distress. The new picture of me is emerging, the one where I sit in peace in my own motherland, welcoming this alienated population to come join me to learn the wisdoms of this soil.

I see now that I was enslaved by my own perception, mistakenly viewing myself as the stranger whilst all along it was those whom could never understand my mystic tongue that had estranged themselves from this earth. It was not my dancing that did not but belong but their stagnated veins and deafness to the music that made it seem so. With the moon I hear the cries of the land and the sea, calling me back, singing my name the way I remember it being sung since the very first life I set foot on this gentle planet. I remember my mother and father, giants of the sky, and in their honor I am brought back to life, again and again. I acknowledge the grandness of my being, the lifetimes it withstood to once more find its way through the pavement and flourish.

Ask me if I’m crazy and I will assure that I am, because such will we all become once we have drank from the river of our own soul and tasted the true flavor of life’s building blocks. I am crazy indeed for I have breathed air contaminated with lies yet still see the truth I was meant to be kept from. I am wild and foolish, certainly so in the eyes of those whom cannot see beyond the veil where half of me exists. But truly foolish are they who do not allow for more than they can grasp, because if the world was simply just as it is assumed to be by the gullible majority- the world would truly be a doomed place. Fortunately, the great truth cannot be undone simply by the rule of the blind, though it needs a great deal of help revealing itself once again. But trust not these words for it, for they hold no accuracy, as they are mere messengers of what can be sensed with senses yet to be discovered. Be brave and find out for yourself. This time we shall not burn.